Apparel
Premium TheBurntPeanut apparel — tees, hoodies, sweatshirts & more
Accessories
Complete your TheBurntPeanut collection
Why TheBurntPeanut?
Merch that actually gets the joke.
Premium Feel
Soft fabrics and sharp prints that survive the wash and the laugh track.
Inside Jokes Only
Designs that only true fans will recognize - no basic logos here.
Built by the Community
Every piece is a nod to the inside jokes and moments we've shared.
Printed on Demand
No waste, no overstock. Just your merch, made fresh when you order.
What Fans Are Saying
Real words from real weirdos.
“The 'Burnt Toast' hoodie is my new uniform. Soft, fits great, and I've gotten three strangers asking where I got it.”
“I bought the 'Existential Drip' tee as a joke, but now it's my go-to. The fabric is way nicer than I expected.”
“Finally, merch that doesn't scream 'I'm a fan' but still gets a nod from those in the know. Perfect balance.”
Our Promise to You
Fast & Free Over $75
Standard shipping on all orders, and free if you hit $75. No surprises.
Hassle-Free Returns
Not feeling it? Return within 30 days for a full refund. We mean it.
Safe Checkout
Your payment info is encrypted and never shared. We take security seriously.
Real Humans, Real Help
Got a question? Our team responds within 24 hours. Just hit the Contact page.
TheBurntPeanut Merch FAQ
Is this official TheBurntPeanut merch?
Yes! All items in this store are officially licensed TheBurntPeanut merchandise, designed and sold exclusively for the comedy community. You're getting authentic gear that supports the brand.
How long does shipping take?
We ship worldwide with tracking. Standard production time is 2-5 business days, plus shipping time of 5-12 business days depending on your location. You'll receive a tracking number once your order is dispatched.
What sizes are available for apparel?
Our t-shirts, hoodies, and sweatshirts come in sizes S, M, L, XL, 2XL, and 3XL. Please refer to the size chart on each product page for exact measurements to ensure the perfect fit.
What is your return policy?
We offer a 30-day return policy on all items. If you're not completely satisfied, contact our support team within 30 days of delivery for a full refund or exchange. Items must be unworn and in original condition.
What products are available in the store?
Our store features a wide range of TheBurntPeanut merch including t-shirts, hoodies, sweatshirts, hats, phone cases, stickers, mugs, posters, wall art, and accessories like bags. New designs are added regularly!